it stretches in my chest
a cat with claws
when you talk talk
and talk
and won't listen
ever
when you change your mind
constantly
an indecisive bumblebee
with equal sting
when you must always be right
damn the consequences
and the consequences come
as i curl myself away
into the shell of my mind
where you cannot enter
i know you too well
(the pain of saying that)
but to you -
i am a stranger. alone (while with you).
passive (words boiling inside).
aching (wishing you knew).
watching. (others also helpless).
yet you believe you know me.
i am sorry i cannot be perfect. i am sorry, because if i were
i would know you
and you me
and i would not suffer the stupid
silly
eternal
pain
of never being quite good enough.
