Monday, June 29, 2009

The Elves Steal Them

The elf scampered across the vast expanse of concrete, dodging a two-person glider before shimmying up against the wall of the house. He removed his pointed hat (the one without the bell at the end) and, withdrawing a handkerchief from the pocket of his knit trousers, carefully wiped his forehead. Usually, he was closer to four feet tall, but when he shrunk himself to twelve inches, his magic could concentrate over that smaller surface area, and enable him to outrun many things. Such as the oversized Lab puppy the next yard over.

“Stupid reindeer,” he muttered, probing the back door and pushing through a plastic flap. This was the other advantage of shrinking. He fit through small spaces, such as cat doors. Squeezing through, he landed on the floor. No alarms sounded, and no lights flashed on. He snapped his fingers five times, and green lights shone softly from his fingertips, faint reflections glowing on the tile. Night burglary was his specialty before he got nailed trying to lift a prototype computer from Santa’s workshop. The head elf chewed him out, and then sent him to the main factory, on a path of honest labor.

Mrs. Claus, however, knew his criminal past. She also ran Force 7, the undercover group of elves who routinely left the North Pole and traveled the world, doing good. In this case, stealing socks. The reindeer, on the whole, were well-behaved animals. They just had a natural weakness for flowers and shrubs. Humans’ flowers and shrubs. A full fourth of Force 7 was dedicated to the task of preventing reindeer damage to shrubs. After all, the creatures were invisible to the human eye, and, as they weren’t busy most of the year, they tended to gravitate to gardens for snacks.

The elf padded through the living room, breaths slowing. It appeared the humans were asleep. He followed a humming sound toward the side of the house until he reached the utility room. Smirking, the elf closed his eyes, and wobbled as he adjusted his height to three feet. Popping the dryer open, he waited for the clothes to stop tumbling. Reindeer, over the ages, had developed a repulsion to a common item of clothing – socks. The exact cause of this repulsion was lost in history. No one was sure whether it was because they were forced to deliver so many during the Christmas season, or whether they delivered so many because Mrs. Claus and the elves pilfered loads of them every year. It was a chicken-and-egg debate.

He plunged one hand into the dryer and came out with a fistful of socks. One was white, with pale blue snowflakes dancing around the ankles. Another probably was white in a past life, until some negligent sorter dropped it into a load of reds and pinks. A yellow one with purple stars and a green knee-high joined his stash. Once he got these beauties back to the Pole, his fellow workers would unravel them and bury tiny bits of the thread in gardens around the world. The reindeer would then reject the gardens, and spare the shrubs. Just a couple more –

He gasped as he unfolded the last sock. A tiny white one with no ankle, meant to be worn with Converse and Vans. He stared at it, eyes widening. He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. Perhaps it was his brief experimentation with black market varieties of hallucinogenic candy canes, but he had an affinity for this kind of sock. The other ones didn’t taste right, but these…these were the crème de la crème of socks. It was why he tried to raid houses with teenagers, who were prone to wearing Vans, and therefore, these socks.

A light flicked on in the kitchen, and he froze, one hand clasping his sock collection, the other clenching around the tiny white sock. Caught? No! A shadow appeared in the doorway, and he crammed the sock into his mouth, chewing several times before swallowing. An actual person materialized, and he gulped.

The little girl stared at him, head cocked to the left. “Did you just eat my sock?”

He didn’t move, only twitching his gaze left and right. A plan of action formed in his mind. Nodding guiltily, he darted forward and touched her hand. Her eyes glazed over, and she shuffled backwards out of the utility room. He watched her move backwards up the stairs, zombie-like, and resolved to work on his spellcasting over the spring season. For now, he shrank himself to twelve inches gain, darted through the cat door, and slipped into the night, the remnants of the tiny white sock sweet on his tongue.

Friday, June 19, 2009


So, all you writers out there (and I know there are lots of you) - I have a prompt/challenge for you.

What happens to all the socks that go missing between the washer and the drier?

You have 800 words maximum. Post your response and let me know when you have. I look forward to reading, and will post my own story too.

(There is a rumor the wonderful Miss Erin may or may not be writing a story with the opening line "I eat them." I dare you to top that!)

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Hasta luego and the best cover art

I shall be out for a couple weeks, pretty much sans technology, to prove to my sister I am not addicted to my computer. And now, I shall leave you with some of my favorite album cover art. These are in no particular order - they're just the ones I find artistically appealing.

1. I love the simple symmetry. (Bonus: Best song on album is 'Shattered')

2. Her hair is a little over-the-top for me personally, but I love the idea. (Best song: Miss Independent).

3. So. Darn. Cute. But there's a kind of strength under the cuteness, you know? (Best song: In My Arms).

4. So. Besides the fact this song rocks. Cool font. I like the red-black-white color scheme. As you might guess, I'm a fan of simple designs. Not simplistic. Simple. (Best Song:...uh, Let It Rock)

5. I almost hesitate to put this on here, because it indicates something connected with Twilight is a favorite of mine. I love the twilight font with all the shimmers, and the lighting is just...epic. It's just tragic Edward's mug is up front, because Emmett and James are both so close...and better looking... (Best song: Bella's Lullaby)

6. Simple yet effective. Besides, it's Michael Buble on the front. Nuff said. ;-) (Best song: Feeling Good).

7. The color is just so...yummy. Simple. Effective. Yummy.. Candy-apple red. (Best songs: Real Gone by Sheryl Crow and Life Is A Highway by Rascal Flatts)

8. This fits the album so well. I'm a big fan of flame colors. (Best song: When I'm Gone).

9. Classy. (Best song: Frigga)

10. Don't get creeped out by this one. The eyes are so. awesome. They look even greener in some versions. (Best song: Imperitum)
11. So epic. (Best song: Storm).

12. The music symbols = <3 (Best Song: Bari Improv)

13. This is funnnn. I love the artsy/sort of animated aspect. The look on the kid's face is great. Bring it.

14. This one is funky, but matches the title so well. (Best song: Kill City)
15. Futuristic and awesome. (Best song: Keep It In the Family)

16. Kind of morbid? Yes. Gothic/Emo? Definitely. Someone good designed this one. I mean, you have to have talent to keep this from just looking like a remix of a certain Tim Burton movie poster. It's...dark, but kinda cool. (Best song: Careless Whisper)

By the way, I HIGHLY recommend you check out all those best songs listed. Don't have time? Here's a shortlist of the best:

1. Imperitum - Immediate
2. Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolf
3. Bella's Lullaby - Carter Burwell
4. When I'm Gone
5. Frigga - Corner Stone Cues
6. Storm - Craig Armstrong
7. Keep It in The Family - Hybrid
8. Kill City - Hybrid

So that's it for now. See ya later.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Version 3.0

I loved my first Mustang layout. And I loved my Converse layout. But a girl needs a change now and then. Whaddya think?

Monday, June 1, 2009

Thoughts on New Moon Trailer

I watched it a few minutes ago. Oh, the melodrama! I'll go watch it for the fight scenes and to laugh at the wrong parts (Yes. I am one of those anti-Twilight people). My thoughts:

1. Why did that selfish, sexy (not) beast Edward Cullen interfere when Jasper leapt at Bella? He would have killed her, and we wouldn't have to suffer through three more movies'-worth of female hysteria over Robert Pattison.

2. Smart, Bella, after your super-hot immortal boyfriend (who is, beyond my comprehension, still using the same hairdresser) ditches you in the forest, without even having the decency to walk/fly you home, you curl up in the middle of the trees and sob. Don't you remember him saying (a few times) "I'm not the most dangerous thing out there"?

3. Jacob with short hair and bare torso = hot. Good move on the producer's part. The long hair wasn't cutting it for me. No pun intended.

4. Technically, Jacob is not a werewolf. According to most classic lore, werewolves are half-human, half-wolf monsters. Jacob is a shape-shifter. I have a friend whose novel is centered around werewolves, and early on, she straightened out my conception of werewolves.

5. Melodrama is not my thing.