I have awesome friends

Okay. So a friend of mine was recently sort-of stalked/repeatedly asked out by this girl he'd only met once. This is an excerpt of the IM conversation. It is hysterical. And hopefully will give you hope there are still guys out there with standards. And spelling. ('Theji' is the girl, just fyi, and 'Me' is my guy friend).

3:36amTheji
u need 2 kno 1 thng is tht if a gurl wants 2 b wid u than u should b wid her
u understand tht
3:43amTheji
hey wat happend
3:43amMe
sorry just distracted by my game.
anyway
3:44amTheji
so wat video game
3:44amMe
thats BS. i mean yeah if a girl wants to be with you thats cool, but that doesn't mean you should just be like OH MY GOD shes into me lets give up all forms of standards and be with her.
3:44amTheji
if she hot a guy would rite?
plz jst try it and see wat happens plz
3:45amMe
WHY
WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED IN ME?!
I DONT UNDERSTAND IT
3:46amTheji
i thnk tht ur nice and gud looking and kind 2 a gurl and i never had tht in my life
r u angry wid me
?
3:46amMe
okay honestly, I'm not mad at you, slightly flattered at best.
But it would never work because you can't spell to save your life.

That last line. Best reason to not date someone EVER. *wipes tear of happiness from eye*

WARNING

My fail of the day:

I was in the little common room of my suite. One of my suitemates was happily doing dishes in our little kitchen. It was a blissful domestic scene, quiet and only broken by the occasional sounds of my coughing (darn allergies), and Sarah Michelle Gellar stabbing a demon from my computer. This beautiful tranquility was broken by the sound of the world's most obnoxious RA rambling through the door (open due to some oven fumes). I was told I was a fail at answering my phone.

So as this RA casually strolled into another suitemate's room to get her computer charger (Mac snobs...well, she's not a Mac snob. He is.), I put down my computer and went to grab my phone. Because it's not necessarily that I didn't believe he'd called, but he is one of those people who would mess with me like that. So I walked into the kitchen area, which is floored with some kind of linoleum stuff.

Four steps later, I found out up-close and personal that the floor had been mopped.

My suitemate gasped and asked if I was okay. From a beautiful hands-and-knees position on the floor, I started laughing hysterically. The highly obnoxious RA also started laughing from the other suitemate's bedroom and said, "Fail!" I fell back on my natural response to obnoxious guys: "Shut up, Griffin!" (Oh, look, did I mention a name? Drat.)

I don't think this particularly obnoxious RA has been in the suite this semester. Ever. And I don't recall anyone mopping this semester either. What are the odds........

Just goes to show

Even prominent editors and authors can't predict the future. Sol Stein is a high-up editor/novelist who's written a couple books on writing. The book I'm reading was published fourteen years ago, and I found this jewel of a quote in a chapter on titles:

"Another American author, winner of the Nobel Prize, had a novel that for a while he called Twilight. Not exactly a grabber that invites you to open to the first page. The author is William Faulkner. Does Twilight conjure up the energy of The Sound and The Fury?"

No sir, it does not. It conjures up screaming crowds of teenage girls who swoon over a marble-chested undead being who reads minds and sparkles in the sun. Twilight (the SM version) may fade, and The Sound and The Fury may endure the ages, but to enhance popularity, I suggest Robert Pattison.

And after you have hired him, fire his hairdresser.

Odds and Ends

A list of assorted randomness:

1. I am still alive, and feeling bad I haven't posted in a week.

2. Allergies are kicking my behind - I think I've gone through two boxes of Kleenex in the past three days. No joke.

3. I got 12 gallons of gas for 23.50 today. Big yay. I don't remember the last time gas was under 2/gallon.

4. Apparently the Goldfish mascot is named Finn. All you Shannon Hale fans: is this not, at the least, disturbing, and at the greatest, heresy?

5. I like dark chocolate. White chocolate is beyond my power to describe. Cuileann did it nicely here. I agree with her whole-heartedly.

6. This is hilarious. I've watched it four times and still crack up.

7. I really want this for Christmas.